Sure, I’ll Go See Madame Web

This is a visual of how my brain felt after seeing the movie.

So, I have been struggling with how to be a filmmaker and movie critic at the same time. Apparently for cinematic luminaries like Goddard, Truffaut, and Eisenstein, it wasn’t a problem. But I feel like it’s important when critiquing a movie to do so compassionately, especially as an aspiring filmmaker. I feel like this is doubly true for me as I’m writing this blog to promote, celebrate, and deepen understanding of films and filmmaking for cineastes, moviegoers, and casual fans of the medium. Therefore, I feel like it would be wrong on a personal level for me to go, “This movie SUCKS1!1!111!!!”. There are lots of cooks in the kitchen when it comes to making movies; you may have to work under different circumstances than you initially thought because an actor dropped out, or your budget was cut; things could go wrong on set that you didn’t anticipate that ultimately affect your footage and what audiences see. These scenarios shouldn’t come as a surprise to most. Additionally, I truly believe that no one tries to make a bad film, and potentially sabotage their own careers along with those of many others who invested their time, energy, and skills on the production.

Anyway, you know the story of Paul Thomas Anderson telling John Krakinski, “we’ve all got to support each other” after the latter criticized an arthouse film at a party? That’s kind of the way I feel as a filmmaker, regarding the standards I hold for myself. If a movie wasn’t for me, that’s fine, but I’ve got to support the films and creatives behind them.

With the above in mind, how the hell do I approach critiquing a film? Because I do think film criticism, when well thought-out and well-articulated, is extremely important. It can put movies into perspective, and truly analyze whether a film was successful in what it sets out to do. Film criticism can put movies in their place, so to speak. For a mass medium that’s such an integral part of our culture and reflects society back at itself, I feel like that sort of check on the form is useful, even necessary at times.

As a filmmaker who also feels there’s tremendous value in analyzing movies, maybe the only thing I can do to stay as impartial as I can is to write about my experience seeing a movie, rather than the film itself. Maybe that could still provide some valuable insight that contributes to The Conversation, however microscopically, about a particular film, and the medium overall.

Sounds good! Let’s swing into action! Right after that cymbal crashes…
Spoilers for the movie ahead!

One thing I can say is that Madame Web feels like a superhero movie with women in mind, whatever that means. I mean, the image of a pregnant character’s broken water on the floor triggers one of the main character’s premonitions. Some people might be going, “Ew, gross!” Whatever your personal feelings about it, I feel like this is a big deal for a superhero movie and a big-budget film. There’s themes of birth and family in this movie, represented visually and in the plot, which give Madame Web an unexpected intimacy and tenderness. That’s something I appreciated, but I’m only realizing these qualities as I’m writing about them. In the moment, it was hard for me to connect emotionally with the characters and what was happening due to the pace of the film, which I want to say is typical of most superhero movies. The chase and action sequences are so frenetically shot and edited, that even if the characters experience a moment of connection or depth during these events, they’re hard to register as an audience member because you’re busy catching your breath, or you’re focused on the pyrotechnics, or the crumbling building, or whatever’s closing in on the superheroes. And any moments of actual quiet are usually focused on furthering the plot, or the characters explaining something for the benefit of the audience.

Another thing: I’m not sure why anyone thought making a Madame Web movie was a good idea at all. According to Wikipedia, Madame Web originally came to be as a secondary character in a Spiderman storyline. Her powers of clairvoyance are perfect for the role of assisting characters with information, or being a plot catalyst when one of her premonitions foretells a world that needs saving. To clarify: was anyone, comic book fan or no, clamoring for this movie? Who out there was thinking: “you know what movie I’d really like to see, one that I’m really hoping they’ll make? A Madame Web story.” I don’t know if this character is part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe or phases or whatever, but look. This movie is supposedly made for me, right? A woman, within the 18-49 age bracket, who likes action and comedy films, was immersed in lots of female superheroes growing up, and who doesn’t have the most incredibly high-brow tastes. Just entertain me - that’s it. I don’t even need to have a great time at the movies. As long as I am open to having a good time at the movies and the film delivers, I’m satisfied more often than not.

To get back to my point, I’m not sure why someone would choose Madame Web (née Cassie Web) as the next character for a film that they hoped would get good returns at the box office. By virtue of her powers that sort of dictate she has a passive role anyway, she’s just boring to watch. And that has nothing to do with Dakota Johnson, who portrays the character as if nothing can surprise her, ever (for the record, I loved Dakota Johnson in The Lost Daughter and Cha Cha Real Smooth and consider myself a fan). Anyway, in the movie, due to the nature of her powers and the plot, Madame Web doesn’t really drive the story. She spends a lot of time figuring things out, like her powers, her past, the motives of the villain, where the teens are she’s in charge of (played by Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced, and Celeste O’Connor). It’s actually Tahar Rahim’s Ezekiel Sims who drives the story, who instigates the perilous situations and disasters Madame Web has to respond to (the movie makes it seem like she has a choice to not rescue the kids in the subway when Ezekiel first tracks them down, but she’s a paramedic in the film so you already know she has a predilection for saving people and putting herself in harm’s way to save others, and in that light her decision becomes much easier, and less compelling for the audience).

This all started because Ezekiel Sims couldn’t find the jeans that fit his size at the Calvin Klein outlet, and swore revenge on all mankind. Cassie understands his pain, but knows in her heart that the store being out of clothes that fit is not enough justification to turn to straight villainy!

Actually, because you have a very clear understanding of what Ezekiel Sims wants and know from the opening sequence that he’s misguided in pursuing his goals and that he’s very driven to succeed, he comes across as the most well-defined character in the film. The action picks up every time he’s on screen, because you know momentum will follow, and because he initiates events with consequences. A character that continually responds to circumstances over the course of the film without initiating any consequential actions of her own doesn’t make for the most exciting protagonist (or film), and that’s basically what Cassie Webb does for the movie’s entire runtime.

And it’s like, how can this really be a movie that tells girls they can be anything and do anything, and that they’re strong and powerful, when the protagonist isn’t even the defining force in her own life, before her newfound empowered existence and after? Madame Web goes so far as to literally tell the audience this in the final minutes, while showing us a contrasting message for ninety-nine percent of the film. This stuff matters. Because now what we have here is an underwhelming movie, with an underwhelming superhero, potentially fueling the argument that female-led movies don’t make money at the box office, even if that’s not true when you start to look at the circumstances beneath that assumption.

The only thing Madame Web does do is choose how she responds to whatever circumstances befall her, and I’m not sure that’s good enough. The one woman in the film who does actively try to take matters into her own hands to circumvent fate dies, pretty quickly. And yes, the same thing happens to Ezekiel Sims, but at least he gets to have a say in how things go, for a pretty considerable majority of onscreen time. There are some pretty life-altering events Madame Web is faced with even in utero, and I almost felt like the filmmakers were telling me (again, as the target demographic, but especially being female) that a truly strong female superhero just takes it. With a smile and grit, so at best she can be plucky and admired for her resilience, but she won’t actually be able to shape the course of events around me. And if we look at one of the defining traits of a superhero: just taking it is the very last thing a superhero does.

I feel pretty mixed after writing that last paragraph. At this point, I’d almost settle for a remake of Hancock starring Melissa McCarthy as the titular character. If they could make the whole movie coherent, I actually think that’d be kind of awesome if they could pull it off.